Why Men Hate Going To Church

I have recently finished reading Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow. Talk about an eye opening book. Well it actually contained alot of what I thought already, it just reenforced those thoughts. Here is a recent article I came across that sums it up pretty well. I would encourage every woman who attends church and every pastor to read this book.

HOW MAN FRIENDLY IS YOUR CHURCH?
By Pat Morley, Man in the Mirror

In Why Men Hate Going to Church, David Murrow points out that every church has a “thermostat.” Unfortunately, many churches’ thermostats are set to “Comfort.” Men, says Murrow, need a thermostat set to “Challenge.” Here are some ways men learn about the environment of your church:

They look at the leaders.
Men follow strong leaders. They like to know that their leader is certain of where they are going. If a man doesn’t believe in the leader, he can’t follow the vision. This is particularly important to men who are either young or new to your church. When you hold up a man as a standard, does he look boring, tired, and half-dead? Or does he look vibrant, excited, and wellspoken (regardless of age)? Men should be able to look at the visible leaders in the church and say, “I want to be like that.”

They listen to the music.
While contemporary music may connect stylistically with people, some
of those praise choruses aren’t exactly “man-friendly.” Men resonate with songs that talk about challenge, adventure, and the battle of following Christ and seeing His kingdom become a reality. They tend to connect less with songs that ask another man—Jesus—to “hold me in your arms.”

They read the bulletin.
Be sure the bulletin makes concrete statements about what God is doing through men in your church. “Bible Study, Wednesday night, Room 202, 7:30 p.m.” is not appealing to most men. But “Disruptive Jesus: A Bible Study for Men. Come learn how Jesus challenged the norm, and how He can change your life and our community”— that’s a Bible Study that has a chance at catching men’s attention.

They listen to the pastor.
Pete Alwinson, pastor in Winter Springs, Florida, makes a point of speaking directly to men in just about every sermon. Often he will say, “Men, this is what this means for us...” That sends a clear message that men matter.

They look at the décor.
We’ve noticed an interesting trend in church design: the ladies’ bath- room is amazing. Unfortunately, in many cases the ladies’ room spills out into the rest of the church and this sends a message to men: “We’ve designed this space to make women as comfortable as possible.” Make the physical environment of your church manfriendly. This is as simple as leather couches, striped wall paper, earth tones—even some black and white nature photos on the wall.

Men are extremely sensitive to quality.
This applies to the flyers you hand out, the events you hold, the materials you use in small gr oups and Sunday school, and even the Web site for the church. While you can’t expect to compete with Madison Avenue, men can tell when there is a sincere effort to offer quality.

They listen for humor.
When men see that everything doesn’t have to be “prim and proper” (translation: boring) they get a sense that your church is a place where they can fit in.

They listen for the vision.
Men want to believe that God is doing something through your church. They want to be part of a church that is going somewhere. They want to know that being a man in your church matters.

Adapted from No Man Left Behind by Pat Morley, David Delk, and Brett Clemmer (Moody, 2006)